I have a confession to make.  I spend my days teaching people how to eat right and exercise their bodies.  I tell them that stress is the #1 reason people gain weight and keep it on. 
Well, I am here to say that I am not an exception to the rule.  I have been under a great deal of stress lately and have been eating A TON of garbage that I do not normally eat.  The inches are starting to pile onto my waist.

I am not going to beat myself up over it.  I am going to move on and improve my health from here.  Tomorrow starts Day 1 of a 21 Day sugar detox.  I have never done this detox and will admit I am nervous.  I know that sugar is a drug and that I am highly addicted to it like most Americans are.  I will be doing a detox similar to this one.

http://balancedbites.com/sugar-detox

It is a great program.  If you are interested in doing it with me let me know.  I could use some accountability partners along the way.

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary.  Wow, so much has happened in the last 10 years.  But it has all been made bearable with the help of my best friend who is always there to support and love me.  In recent years we have watched countless marriages fall apart around us and that has caused us to really reflect on why our marriage works so well.

I am not going to say I'm an expert on marriage and I'm not judging those that have divorced (I was a child of divorce myself).  I just wanted to share my thoughts on how to keep the love alive.  

Here are my thoughts on how to have a successful marriage.  Most of these we had to learn the hard way.

1. Always put your spouse first.  This one is hard for parents to do.  As we start having children our marriage gets lost in the raising of our kids.  We hold hand less, go on less dates, get caught up in daily duties rather than making time for each other.  If we do not find our way back and put our spouse first, we lose sight of why we were so in love with this person in the first place.  We lose ourselves trying to be the perfect parents.  Make a plan to have a weekly date night.  Sit together on the couch while you watch a movie with the kids.  Kiss each other goodbye when you leave for work.  These are things that are necessary to keep the love alive and also a great way to teach your kids what a healthy relationship looks like.

2. Communicate:  I cannot stress this one enough!!  Talk about your day, the good and the bad. If the finances are in trouble talk about it together instead of trying to handle it alone, if the kids are on your nerves, ask your spouse for help.  Express your feelings even if they are going to make you sound selfish or mean. Holding your feelings in will only make you bitter.  Talk about every big decision together, never assume you know what your partner wants.  Always ask their opinion and try to follow it most of the time.

3. Women Dress Up: This might sound silly, but think about it.  He sees you in your sweatpants, yoga pants and jeans all the time.  Sometimes we think since the chase is over its OK to wear what is comfortable.  Sure, the chase is over, but we still need to throw in some surprises from time to time.  Wear a dress to go shopping on the weekend, or dress up for a movie date.  Trust me, he will notice and appreciate the effort you put into looking nice.  This also goes for boring pjs.  You know those fuzzy socks, pants that are 2 sizes too big and the men's tshirt that you wear to bed, try to leave them in the drawer.  Even if its once a week, try to wear something not so frumpy to bed.

4. Notice the little things: Did your spouse fill your car up with gas, help you with the dishes,etc.  Did you spouse dress up for dinner, wear a new shirt, make the date night plans without being reminded.  Lets be real here, some of the rules of parenting also work great when it comes to your spouse.  Positive reinforcement is an amazing tool to show others you appreciate them.

5. Men are not mind readers:  I guess this rule is just for the ladies.  This was a hard learned lesson for me.  I was always expecting my hubby to know exactly what I wanted.  I expected him to know that he should send flowers on my birthday, make dinner reservations on our anniversary, and take the kids outside while I finish supper. I expected him to know when I need alone time and when I needed him to be by my side encouraging me.  Of course none of these things happened, not because he didn't care, but because plan and simple, men cannot read minds!  Men are genetically hardwired to hunt for food, protect their families, and populate the earth.  Women are hardwired to nurture their young and take care of the men that protect them.  We can learn to think in other ways, but it is not natural so try to respect that and have patience.

6. Love them more each day:  The love should not die after time together, it should grow stronger as you conquer things together.  Your bond should grow stronger as you get older.  If this is not the case, take some time to reflect on your marriage.  Maybe its time to write down all the reasons you love your spouse.  Keep it in a safe place and add a new reason each time you remember it is there.

After school today my kids stopped in our office for their chiropractic adjustments.  As they sat in my office arguing I wished I could just crawl under my desk and hide.  Hiding is something I wish to do a lot lately.

 This past week has been a high stress week for me.  Countless things have happened in my family that have caused sadness, anger and regret.  This week I have wanted to hide, run away, and throw a full blown tantrum on the kitchen floor.

Did I do any of these things?  No, I made a decision years ago that I wouldn't hid from problems anymore.  I'm not saying that I don't throw a minor tantrum once and a while, but I have learned that taking a deep breath and counting to 10 helps in every situation.  I have discovered that working up a good sweat can change my mood instantly.  I have learned that a quiet yoga practice daily helps me see things in a new light.  I now know that taking time to myself helps me deal with everyday stress and other unexpected stressers that happen. 

These things I have discovered in order to deal with stress have change my life.  They have changed me into a person that my family wants to be around.  I am no longer the mom who threw the remote control that time she got upset (the kids will never let me live that one down), the wife who goes to bed at 8pm because it is easier than dealing with life, or the citizen who complains every time there is a broken traffic light.

Here are the things I have found that help manage stress
1. Eating a clean diet
2. Regular Exercise
3. Meditation
4. Daily Yoga practice or simple stretching
5. Spending time with friends that build you up
6. Spending time outside enjoying the sunshine
7. Reading a non-work related book
8. Hugs ( Hugs are amazing things!)

Why do people feel the need to use this sentence with me?  Anything that comes after the famous, "No Offense" is not going to be good.  Saying this is no excuse for being mean.  You might as well say, I'm about to offend you so sit down and smile while I do so.

My goal is to live the best life possible while helping others.  What someone else thinks about my hair, what I put in my grocery cart, or what my kids wear is none of my business.  I would much rather they keep it to themselves.  If I wanted your opinion I would ask for it.

What is your WHY?

We all have our "why".  Why do you exercise? Why do you want to change your eating habits. Why do you get up early to have time for a healthy breakfast? This list goes on and on.  But is your why strong enough?

 When I start working with a client, the first thing I ask them is, "why do you want to make this change"?  If I don't think their "why" is strong enough I ask them to rethink what matters most to them.  Most of the time their "why" is not strong enough, but with a few good questions we can make that why stronger.

What are the important questions to ask?  

1. What will this change allow you to do that you haven't been able to do?

2. What will his change allow your family to do that

they haven't been able to do?

3. What will you gain during and after this change?

4. What will those around you gain during and after this change?

Sometimes it takes several tries to get our "why" strong enough, but when we do it makes all the difference.  You see, if your "why" is not strong enough to pull you through the hard times you are about to encounter you will fail.  You will fall back into old habits, you will find excuses, you will stay the same.

Examples of a bad "why": I want to be skinny, I want to be a size 4, I want to look good at my friend's wedding.

Examples of a good "why": I want to have the energy to play with my kids, I want to live a long healthy life and be an active grandparent, I want to teach my children that taking care of myself is important, in turn teaching them to take care of themselves, I want to be happy without the help of depression medications, I want my knees to be pain free.

Here are my personal "whys".  They change as time goes on, but they stay pretty close to the same.

1. To teach my children that living a healthy life is important.

2. To control my anxiety medication free.

3. To be a fun and active grandma to my future grandchildren

4. To stay attractive to my husband for years to come.

5. To put myself first.

#5 raises a lot of eyebrows, but a good friend and mentor once told me that you can only give others the amount of care you give yourself.  I find this to be 100% true.  I will never be one of those moms that puts my life on hold for my children.  I feel that with the right time management I can take care of me and them.  Trust me, they would rather be with me after I've had a good workout then when I've spent the day laying around.  My energy levels are higher and my mood is definitely better.

What is your "WHY"?

Life is an amazing gift!  We are all given this amazing gift.  What we do with it is our choice.

I guess my first post should include a little introduction.  My name is Christy.  I am a wellness coach at CornerStone Chiropractic. I also teach children's yoga when I have time.  I love all things related to nutrition and fitness.  I have three amazing kids and an extremely supportive husband.

My life is crazy busy just like so many others.  My hope is that by writing this blog I will help others who live busy lives see that it can be done in a healthy way.  

I'm not perfect, nobody is, but I start each day with the best of intentions to live the healthiest life possible.  Sometimes I slip up, I skip a workout or two, I eat a few too many cheat meals, I allow negative self talk to cloud my brain.  But falling down is part of life.

I've learned in my short 34 years that life is tough, but I'm much tougher.